By These Lumbersexual Astrology Posters Totally Nail It #BaconBits
Metrosexuals are old news. Lumbersexuals, however, are all the rage. Double duh! That’s why Michael Sanderson’s submission caught our eyes for today’s #baconbits pick.
Michael is a Portland-based artist specializing in work that deals with the male form. His first series, Constellation Park, is a collection of 16×20 prints that explore each sign of the zodiac as sexy rugged outdoorsmen. The creative execution is stellar, and we know your inner lumbersexual will appreciate each and every beard. Do you have a lumbersexual in your office? Send this to them ?
Aquarius (Jan 20-Feb 18)
“AQUARIUS IS THIRSTY; IN EVERY SENSE OF THE WORD. HE’S A BELIEVER IN QUANTITY OVER QUALITY; MORE IS MORE AND HIS CUP RUNNETH OVER. HE SPREADS HIMSELF THIN AND IS LOOKING TO MEET AS MANY PEOPLE AS POSSIBLE, WHILE NEVER REMAINING STAGNANT. INNOVATIVE AND WITTY, HE’S RESPECTED BY MANY BUT CLOSE TO FEW. AS DISTANT AS AN OCEAN AND JUST AS SPONTANEOUS. IT’S HARD TO HOLD WATER IN YOUR HANDS FOR LONG SO DRINK HIM UP WHILE YOU CAN.”
Pisces (Feb 19-Mar 20)
“ROW, ROW, ROWING HIS BOAT GENTLY DOWN THE STREAM; LIFE IS BUT A DREAM TO THE CRITICALLY LAID BACK PISCES. GOING WHEREVER THE FLOW TAKES HIM WITHOUT SO MUCH AS MAKING A RIPPLE. EASY TO CATCH BUT HARD TO KEEP; IT’S IN HIS NATURE TO DRIFT AWAY WITHOUT HAVING MUCH TO SAY ON THE MATTER. HE’LL COOLY REMIND YOU THERE’S PLENTY OF FISH IN THE SEA.”
Aries (Mar 20-Apr 19)
“THE BRASHEST AND BOLDEST OF THE BUNCH. STRONG BODY, WEAK MIND. HE’LL RAM HEADFIRST INTO ANY SITUATION TO OBTAIN ANYTHING HE HAS HIS HEART SET ON; ESTABLISHING HIS PLACE IN SOCIETY AS AN ALPHA MALE TO BE RECKONED WITH. IF HE CAN’T HAVE HIS WAY THROUGH BRUTE FORCE, HE’S GOT THE RUGGED GOOD LOOKS TO MAKE YOU RECONSIDER.
Taurus (Apr 20-May 20)
“POSSESSIVE AND UNCOMPROMISING, HE TAKES PRIDE IN WHAT HE OWNS AND WILL SEE TO IT THAT EVERYONE KNOWS WHAT’S HIS. A RUTHLESS ADVERSARY IF YOU’RE THE UNFORTUNATE OWNER OF SOMETHING HE DESIRES. HE’LL LEAVE HIS MARK ON ANYONE HE TOUCHES, PURSUING WHAT HE WANTS WITH BULL’S-EYE PRECISION. THOUGH THE MOST TACTILE OF THE ZODIAC, HE’S NOT A TOUCH AND GO KIND OF GUY — HE PLAYS FOR KEEPS.”
Gemini (May 21-Jun 20)
“SIBLING RIVALRY WITHIN KEEPS THE DYNAMIC GEMINI IN A CONSTANT BATTLE BETWEEN TWO SIDES OF “THEMSELVES.” HOWEVER; TWO MINDS ARE ALWAYS BETTER THAN ONE, IF ONLY THEY COULD AGREE TO WORK TOGETHER AND JOIN FORCES GREAT THINGS COULD BE ACHIEVED. ANYTHING YOU CAN DO, YOU CAN DO BETTER; YOU CAN DO ANYTHING BETTER THAN YOU. RIGHT?”
Cancer (Jun 21-Jul 22)
“ONE OF THE FEW WHO FINDS SECURITY IN BEING TIED UP. FOR THE SENTIMENTAL CANCER, TYING THE KNOT IS A MATTER OF LIFE AND DEATH WHEN YOU’RE CLIMBING SUCH GREAT HEIGHTS FOR THE ONE YOU LOVE. IT’S A LONG FALL DOWN; SO SLOW AND STEADY DOES IT NOW. KEEP ON CLINGING ON.”
Leo (Jul 23-Aug 22)
“ONE OF THE MOST LOYAL GUYS AROUND, FOR THE SMALL PRICE OF ALL YOUR ATTENTION. HE’S HUNGRY FOR YOUR PRAISE SO KEEP FEEDING HIS EGO OR HE’LL EAT YOU ALIVE. THE VAIN AND CHARISMATIC LEO LIVES FOR YOUR LOVE; LAY IT ON THICK AND THIS KING OF BEASTS WILL HELP YOU THRIVE IN THE SOCIAL JUNGLE.”
Virgo (Aug 23-Sep 22)
“HE BELIEVES THE ROAD LESS TRAVELED IS LESS TRAVELED FOR A REASON. NOT ONE TO BE A TRAILBLAZER BY ANY DEFINITION; THE DILIGENT, STRAIGHT-LACED VIRGO PLAYS BY THE FIELD GUIDE AND REMAINS CONFIDENT, SO LONG AS HE KEEPS ON THE BEATEN PATH. WHAT HE LACKS IN IMAGINATION HE MAKES UP FOR IN DIRECTION AND WILL MOST CERTAINLY FIND HIS WAY.”
Libra (Sep 23-Oct 22)
“SHALLOW AND IDEALISTIC, HE’S FULL OF SUCH CONTRADICTIONS AND USES HIS DIPLOMATIC REPUTATION TO MINE SOMETHING OF WORTH AND BEAUTY OUT OF THE ROCKIEST OF SITUATIONS. ASSESSING VALUE ON HIS OWN WEIGHTED SCALE; SHOULD HE DECIDE THE WORK OUTWEIGHS THE REWARD, HE’LL LIKELY ABANDON THE DIG ENTIRELY. ALWAYS WEIGHING HIS OPTIONS AND LOOKING FOR A SHINIER, MORE ATTAINABLE FIND. HE’S NOT ONE TO DIG TOO DEEP, REALLY.”
Scorpio (Oct 23-Nov 21)
“HIS PRESENCE IS SHARPLY FELT BUT HE’LL SEE TO IT HIS ABSENCE STINGS EVEN MORE. INTENSITY AND BRILLIANCE BOTH MANIFEST FROM A COLD, DARK PLACE, IN WHICH SCORPIO THRIVES WITH HIS THICK, HARD EXTERIOR. EVERY CHIP ON HIS SHOULDER IS AN EDUCATION HE’LL USE TO CHIP AWAY AT YOURS. THE THICKER THE ICE GROWS, THE HIGHER HE’LL CLIMB.”
Sagittarius (Nov 22-Dec 21)
“THE ORIGINAL WOLF IN SHEEP’S CLOTHING; THE SOCIALLY ADAPTABLE SAGITTARIUS WILL LEARN A VARIETY OF INFORMATION, SKILLS AND PERSONAS TO BUILD HIS ARSENAL OF CHARACTERS IN GARNERING THE TRUST OF HIS POTENTIAL PREY. HE LIVES FOR THE THRILL OF THE HUNT BUT ALSO IN FEAR OF BEING CAPTURED HIMSELF; FOR NOTHING IS WORSE IN HIS MIND THAN BEING IN A CAGE, OR A TROPHY ON SOMEONE ELSE’S WALL. IN HIS EYES LETTING YOU GO IS AN ACT OF MERCY; WHY’RE YOU MAD?”
Capricorn (Dec 22-Jan 19)
“HIS HOME IS HIS KINGDOM. COLD, DISCERNING AND MATERIALISTIC, THE DRIVEN CAPRICORN PUTS MORE EFFORT INTO MATERIAL GAINS THAN PERSONAL CONNECTIONS; BUT HE CAN BE QUITE THE CHARMER IF, OF COURSE, YOU’RE IN THE POSITION TO HELP HIM ADVANCE HIGHER UP THE ECHELON. HE’S A SUCKER FOR A CROWN. A TRUE ICE KING. LET IT GO, BRO.”
Submit Your Work!
This post was created because of a tip that was submitted on our handy submission form. Now it’s your turn–what are you creating?
