21 Best Shower Thoughts of All Time of The Month

Each month, we round up our favorite Shower Thoughts via reddit, and share them with you. Our hope is that these off-the-wall ideas (paired with a cup of joe/beer) inspire your silly little brain. This month, we’ve got some doozies!

21 Best Shower Thoughts of of July 2015

1. “If you swap the spinach for beer, then any episode of Popeye becomes a bitter story of a raging alcoholic, right down to the speech impediment and tendency to fight people who he believes are trying to steal his girl” via iftherewasanotherway

2. “We use sex to sell everything. We arrest those who buy and sell actual sex.” via HolloH

3. “If colleges really want to prepare high school students for today’s job market then they should only accept students who have ‘at least 2-3 years college experience.'” via Arpeggi42

4. “‘I sold an hour of my life for $13’ doesn’t sound nearly as good as ‘I make $13/hour.'” via oaktownraider13

5. “‘I work for one of the richest companies in the world’ sounds a lot better than ‘I work at Walmart’.” via caseystrain

6. “The massive amount of gay sex that will happen tonight will have absolutely no effect on the birthrate in 9 months.” via random5924

7. “Because telescopes work using mirrors, we’ll never know if there are any space vampires.” via champs27

8. “The tallest person on Earth has been the same height as every person on Earth.” via cazcheck

tallest man

The tallest man in the world, and his wife. Source: nairaland.com

9. “The most tragic victims of irony are the trees cut down to make copies of The Lorax.” via ghostaire

10. “They could replace the entire D.A.R.E. program with single viewing of Requiem for a Dream, and it would be more effective.” via mr_zero

11. “The first eighteen years of your life are like a free trial, and after that it’s pay to play.” via fuckminsterfullerene

12. “Parents spend the first 20 years scaring their kids into not getting pregnant, and the next 20 wondering why they won’t.” via sherryoak

13. “Han Solo doesn’t seem so great when you realize who his real-world analog would be: A trucker doing cross-border smuggling for drug cartels, who shot a guy in a bar.” via KubrickIsMyCopilot

14. “If the Mythbusters made a show with the guys from Jackass (testing the myths on them) it would be spectacular.” via anga_tayng

15. “As a kid, nothing excited me more than seeing a McDonalds PlayPlace. As an adult, nothing disgusts me more than seeing a McDonalds PlayPlace.” via porklomeinnoveg

source: ABC / seriesregular.com

source: ABC / seriesregular.com

16. “Thanks to dating apps, many people will first lay eyes on the love of their lives while evacuating their bowels.” via dolemite-

17. “It must be really tough to play a ‘Q’ tile in Scrabble in England when you have to waste the ‘U’ on words like ‘colour’ and ‘labour’.” via buckyboy28

18. “You can safely store milk and raw beef at 101.5 °F… in a cow.” via happy__dad

19. “I want to see an action movie in which Tom Cruise defects from a cult, and then gets revenge on the leadership who would threaten his family.” via hyperjumpgrandmaster

20. “If humans would live up to 1000 years instead of 100 or less we would think very differently about climate change.” via menuk

21. “In 50 years, ‘Old lady’ names will be things like Tiffany, Brittany, and Nikki.” via pockaleelee

Did you miss last month’s Shower Thoughts?

Click here to read The Best Shower Thoughts of June 2015

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